Tired of being treated like *@%$ and a little bit TMI

Okay so the title of this is exactly what I wanted to say and then I got side tracked... had time to think and decided that due to the people who read this... I will not be posting the TMI right now. BUT, I am so tired of being treated like S%$^ that it isn't even funny. People who call themselves "professionals" or "Representatives" or "receptionists". Who in the world brought you up to speak to people in such a manor? I know for a fact that my mother would be appalled if she caught me "spitting vinegar" or throwing a fit when told to refund the money that was over charged, or you calling a woman "fertile mertal" during an exam... the list goes on and on. Well, this week a number of people have "gotten themselves in a bit of a bind" from the way they have treated me. (I have no doubt in my mind that I am not the only one enduring this... BUT I have chosen to speak up. Never thought that would happen did ya!) If you don't like your job or you don't like people in general, then find something else to do. Spending your day making people look like an ass (yes, yesterday a seemingly lovely young lady made me look like a total ass in front of many other women and IT WAS NOT EVEN MY MISTAKE... I WAS RIGHT but of course, none of the rest of the people know that). Well ya know what! I had had enough and I went on a rampage.
From my perspective, it does not matter how many kids a person has or does not have, how young or old, their looks, their convictions everyone deserves to be treated with "compassion and mercy, from me to you and you to me...exactly how it oughta be..." (*a quote from the vegi tales movie Jonah...ask my son H how we treat people and he will tell you with compassion and mercy). Please, for one moment take a deep breath before you speak and "spit vinegar" and remember how you would like to be treated. Take it from me, being treated like s*&% really bites.
I am over it now, can you tell. NO, really I am. I actually aside from that incident yesterday had an amazing day. A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders... that would have been the TMI but for now... just know that today (as always) we are giving Him glory...great things He has done.
Happy day to all of you.

*Wordless Wednesday*

Out of the mouths of babes~

(the picture...H holding L on his lap...sitting on the edge of the sandbox...) L sits down, I say to H "don't squeeze her please, just let her sit on your lap"... H replies "why mom, will she explode like a bug?"
I just had to laugh.
Happy day.

Happy Monday to all of you. I wanted to clue you into Cafe Mom. I joined today and it seems like it is going to be a nice resource. I just wanted to let you know ( or are already are on...) that if you join your child's school group you can "Earn $100 for your kid's school! School groups with 20+ participating moms by 9/30/08 will get $100 for supplies, activities or whatever the group decides the kids need most." I am pretty excited. They are doing it for the ENTIRE nation. Unfortunately I have no idea if they are doing home school groups (I did not check... I will look into it) If you join please add me as a friend (gbmom2407) I would love it.
Happy day.

Today I got an amazing deal off of craigslist. I have been wanting a piano for a long time but we don't have the space for a "real" one. The electric keyboards are waaaayyyy too expensive. Thanks to a lovely lady, I was able to afford one today. Keyboard, stand and adaptor (I need to buy the sustain pedal but that is only fair). So, the plan is:

I will be spending a lot more time away from this keyboard

and on this one!

Happy day.

Lying awake...

I had the opportunity to go out with three great girls last night. Jeremy fed and cared for the kids while I had a chance to wear my new jeans... they are awesome! Angie even told me I have a "nice tush" in them! My sister told me the same thing when she bought them for me (first time in my life any woman has ever told me I have a nice bottom... flattered ladies, absolutely flattered). I always am so excited to go out but then I come home and lie awake wondering...

• I can't stop my mouth, want to, think about it all day before I go... did I offend anyone?
• touchie subjects...more babies, iuds, teachers, weight, politics, religion... did I offend anyone?
• scatterbrained... did I finish my sentences? did I finish my conversation? I hate not knowing.
• interruptions. I find that I interrupt people, not on purpose, I just run my mouth too much. This bothers me to no end. Not intentional, knowing that it is happening, can't fix it.
• I don't really have many friends... could my mouth be why? well of course but I feel like I am so lost on how to fix it. Maybe I need to get more adult interaction so when I do get it it isn't so over whelming.
• I want to be around people but I can't figure out how to "behave appropriately" I come feeling like a twelve year old.

I had no intentions on hurting anyone so I pray about it and calm down... mind continues to wander as it does every night....lying awake thinking, listening...

• Is D going to stay dry all night? Did J give him too much to drink? Did my boys behave to give Jeremy enough of a break so that I could maybe just maybe go out again?
• D talking in his sleep, W responding to the conversation...both sleeping.
• D begins to stir... get up and take him to the potty, yep, he had to go!
• L gonna sleep all night or get up for a drink of water?
• H gonna complain he has a headache
• what if we were to have more babies, would I lose even more friends
• woops did I make too much noise lying here, j just rolled over again.
• whats on the Olympics tonight? did I miss anything? what is on right now?
• I feel lonely, how do I fix that?
• should we get a bus and fix it too? it looks like an awesome project
• how do people really feel about me
• what will tomorrow bring, hoping it wont rain...could really use a 40hour week.
• how are my siblings... how are my parents fairing (and really I know all of this already but it still runs through my head)
• i have lots of work to do. need to be more organized. want to be a better mom and person as a whole.

I know, how in the heck would I sleep letting all of this garbage run through my head. Every night. Slowly but surely I attempt to fix what I can. Really in my heart and mind I don't want to care what people think but I can't help it. I long for friends. People that genuinely give a shit about me. That like me for who I am not for who I am married to or who my kids are. That don't care how many babies we have or don't have that just plain like me. When I had L I lost a whole bunch of friends (I use this scenario...but please know no one really is a roach...it just paints the picture of how I feel) when I had our forth baby it was like "someone flipped on the light switch and all of the roaches scattered" she is an amazing little girl and no one really knows that. Really, nothing has changed at my house except special diapers and another mouth do feed. But then again, that is how I see it...maybe I did/have changed and that is why? I don't really know and probably never will. I wanna think that I don't care...try to put on a good front.

Pretty much I stick to my family and my faith. I find myself enjoying perfect strangers blogs(AudreyCaroline, Stellan, Noah, there are so many that I enjoy, along with the clickers on the side of my blog for *SAVING MONEY (don't worry, I wont tell your hubbies what I do, I just tell mine how much money I save and what we got for free this month) a couple of my friends run blogs too... I can't help but check on them every day also...Jessica and Jill, did you click on the word bus above? that is my most favorite).

I am weird, I am strong spoken, I am lonely.

Off to the Farm!

On a wim I called my kids to the back door (I will paint a quick picture... 8:30am all four in the sandbox and had been for an hour already, H and W had dressed themselves...it was a little damp so everyone was "wearing" the sand...nothing new here just thought I would share) and asked if they would like to go to the Farm. They shouted "yes! To Robyn's Farm!?!" (Robyn is our good friend who has always gone to the Farm with us and her mom lives close to the Farm so she always met us there also. My boys know it no other way... it isn't really Robyn's farm unless you ask my boys. D and L had never been there but were equally excited). We got cleaned up (I dawned a bra...) made a few pbj's and off we went. All by our selves with the single stroller (I know, what was I thinking).

L feeding the "doats"

D found the tractor right away

W loved the "tats"

pretty proud!

Three in the lime kiln

D came running "me found Auntie Mary, mom come and tate a picture"! He and L had "found Auntie Mary" Just to clarify, she has the most amazing maroon/red colored hair, well, so does this cow.

As to not discriminate... at the very end D shouted "me found Uncle Teth (seth)" he was sure the horse on the right (in the shadows) was him... No idea why, with the red haired cow I got it but the horse? Seth, is there something we don't know?

W feeding the "doats"

L with the kitten

H feeding the goat

the last time we went H carried around a goat, that was three years ago ( I was pregnant with D) I am searching for that photo... we reenacted it!

H too loved the kittens

We really had a nice time. Only once did I "need" my double stroller when D was riding and L needed a lift. He was gracious enough to let L sit on his lap and ride along. If you are ever in Northeast Wisconsin you should take the short drive to Door County and check it out. And heck, give us a call we would love to join you there! Just think, you could milk a mama"doat"!

Happy day to you all.

breaking news!

Just got the phone call I was hoping for! This fall we will be watching an "itty bitty". I am so privileged. I am sure you are all wondering if I have lost my mind. I think I have, and I love it!

Happy Tuesday to you all!

Wow it has been a really long week. Jeremy got "sick" last Tuesday and was on the couch all week (I will spare you all the details and sum it up in seven words: emergency room, abscess, antibiotics, vicatin, "packed", PAIN!). He is okay now and back to work as usual. A dear friend and his family lost their 18 year old Justin to a car accident. We spent many hours taking care of that this weekend. We are praying for all of you. We love you! D and L spent those days at my parents house. Saturday we got all of the kids back... like my girlfriend said "couldn't you all bring them back one by one to acclimate me!" I wish. H and W have "Coppertone bottoms" from spending the week in the bay. D is doing great with the "cold turkey potty training" only a hand full of accidents. No complaints here! I have exactly two weeks until I send my two oldest off to school! I CAN NOT WAIT! I love to watch them learn. The things that they are able to comprehend is amazing. Having them gone all day really is good for all of us ; ) Next goal, get L potty trained too. Her diapers are pricey and I would love to be done with that purchase. Had an "interview" last night with an awesome couple. (the kids were really disappointed, they knew that a family was coming over about babysitting so they were all excited to "play with the kids"...) Their baby is due in five weeks and they want me to watch her when they go back to work. I am so excited. Okay, so that has been the past week. This week is just for cleaning house and getting the kids back on a decent sleeping schedule. Did I mention... TWO MORE WEEKS THAT IS IT, TWO MORE WEEKS... IF I COULD SING, THERE WOULD BE A SONG BELTED OUT!
Happy day,

Drrrrrruuuummm roll please!

Forty eight hours "clean and dry" even all night long... in big boy underpants. Working on his "new thomas underpants". Gotta stay clean and dry all week and then we will go and buy them together at the store! Even with our trip to the local lumber store and chinese food place, he stayed clean and dry.

We are all really excited. AND yep, still enjoying the peace that is brought over the house with the boys gone. (**they spent four hours in the lake with grandma yesturday, two tired boys, one really sunburned grandma!)

Pictures of the train cake are still coming... they need to be edited because every single one has his name in it!

Happy day.

"We going to china mom!?!"

Yesterday my in-laws came down and joined us at the National Railroad Museum for D's birthday. HE IS THREE TODAY!! The best thing about the whole day (oh, yes, the museum was fun but my day got even better... pictures to come) They took H and W home with them for the WHOLE week! Oh, happy day! This mom needed a break. Before they left they were pretty hyper (my boys?!? never...) but W ran by to give my a hug and kiss and I acted like I did not know where he was going. I asked why are you saying goodbye..."We going to china mom!" I just had to laugh. How weird it is though, D got up this morning and "can't find the boys".
Have a great week everyone, I know I will.

Still praying for Stellan!

Lower on the blog is a button to see Stellans story! Can you find my two littles on his site? There has been a major update with that family. If you already started praying for him, you know what I am talking about! Praise to the Almighty.

little boys lunch discussions

(to give the right context, in the past every time any of the littles have asked "what are you doing?" no matter what it was my response was "taking a shower" the funny things is they have never questioned it...?... when asked "where are you going?" I had always replied "to China"... that was the reply until this past January when I called W's HS/EC teacher to tell him he would be out for two days. His reply "oh, will you be in China again?" He was dead serious, he had thought that I frequented China often...because my severely speech delayed (apraxic) son had always told him his mom was "in China" or "going to China" needless to say I stopped that and now I just tell them where I am going for real). Now onto the reason for this post.
Sitting at lunch today (H and W eating raisin bran...yippee their favorite) they were having a discussion. W announced to H that he was born in China. "my mom like to go there". H replied "I don't think so but I am not sure" (OF COURSE HE KNOWS... my smart mouthed smart brained seven and a half year old surely knows where he and all of his siblings were born...city, state, hospital, day, month, year...) Subject dropped by both as they asked for seconds. I just had to laugh. Never been out of the country to clarify. Not in this families budget I am afraid... Nothing against China (I think it would be an amazing place to visit.) instead of day dreaming about it I will enjoy my day here in balmy Wisconsin.

A prayer request

Okay, so I don't know this family but I was hooked the day I found this blog and read "MckMama's" description (on the side bar) of herself. I did not have time that day to read further but the next day I checked out her blog. And since then I have been praying for baby Stellan (ohhhh I love that name) and his family. Careful now, going to this blog will have you hooked. Please take a moment out of your day to give a prayer up to God for this sweet baby.

1.You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station: bananas, a mountain dew, and crackers with cheese in the middle of them.

2.If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be? first of all...don't believe in it but I can play along... a shark

3.Whos your favorite redhead? My sister Mary

4.What do you order when youre at IHOP? don't go there, don't ever plan to go there

5.Last book you read? reading the contracetion guidebook

6. Describe your mood. good the kids are being great today

7.Describe the last time you were injured? broke my toe two weeks ago...

8.Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with? well, I don't play around them but I would love to sit and chat with Robyn

9.Rock concert or symphony? symphony

10.What is the wallpaper of your cell phone? my third son D

11.Favorite Soda? coke classic

12.What type of shirt are you wearing? grey t-shirt..clean one at that!

13.If you could only use one form of transportation: by my self, my bike with everyone my mini van.

14.Most recent movie you have watched in theatres? the very last starwars that was released...

15.Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for:none

16.Whats your favorite kind of cake? angelfood with fresh strawberries and my mom's homemade whipped cream

17.What did you have for dinner last night? the kids had french toast and fruit... I had string cheese until Jeremy got home at 8:45pm then I had a nachos bell grande

18.Look to your left, what do you see? H, my oldest son sitting on the couch

19.Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? depends on which shoes they are

20.Favorite toy as a child? probably duck tape

21.Do you buy your own groceries? yes, I do the shopping

22.Do you think people talk about you behind your back?oh I am sure of that. There are many unhappy people that we "have so many kids"

23.Whens the last time you had gummy worms? it has been a while, love them though.

24.Whats your favorite fruit?anything but bananas.

25.Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?I am sure there is one from when I was little. Have not done one in over 8 years.

26.Do you like running long distances? I used to be an excellent distance runner... two foot surgeries and four kids later (and a few lbs with that) I am only able to run half a mile right now. BUT I am working on a mile, that is my goal.

27.Have you ever eaten snow? yep, I love to catch it in my mouth

28.What color are your bedsheets? currently on my bed, brown, navy, grey... bears, moose, trees

29.Whats your favorite flower? the "flag" iris, peonies and yellow roses.

30.Do you do ballet? uh, no!

31.Do you listen to classical music? absolutely

32.What is the 1st TV Theme song that pops in your head? jepardy

33.Do you watch Sponge bob? NEVER I dislike that program imensly

34.What temperature is it outside right now? 82 degrees

35.Do people consider you smart? depends who you ask and if I am pregnant or not

36.How many piercings do you have? -4, ears

37.Are you signed on AIM? don't use it but you can find me on yahoo messenger

38.Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together? happens all the time without trying... super glue fixes most toy cars and trucks around here.

39.How do you feel about your family? I love them with all my heart.

40.Do you have an iPod? no, i have an mp3 though

41.What time do you go to bed? I try to get there before 10pm

42.What CD is currently in your CD player? wow hits

43.What movie do you know every line to? hope floats, shawshank redemption and Cars

44.What is your favorite salad dressing? western

45.What do you want for Christmas this year? a piano (keyboard)

46.What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? Where? my brother and his wife...korea

47.Do you like hugs? ow, ow, ow, ow...LOL of course I do but it depends on who it is from

48.Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? a couple of weeks ago

49.Whats the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? on-na instead of Ann-a

50.Last person you hugged? little lady when she got up this morning.

uneasy anxious feelings

As I lie awake in the night, Jeremy stirring, little lady fussing for a drink of water, D talking (a whole conversation with himself about going outside to play), W up because he heard something (duh... it's your brother!), still as could be I just laid there, couldn't fall asleep could not find peace in my mind. Ever have a night like that? That you know you need to sleep but just have that blank feeling.
Met a wonderful family in the evening about me watching the two children. It went pretty good I guess, seeing how she said "I was really hoping I would get here and not like you" (she is having a hard time leaving her current sitter) and as she left she said "thank you for making my decision so hard". What I said, "YOU ARE WELCOME!". Complament? I hope so because that is how I took it but I feel axious waiting to hear if I have been chosen by their family to keep the children. It runs through my head... are they not liking the price I said?, are they not liking that I charge hourly?, did they not like our kids or our situation?, tons of questions were asked (which was pretty cool, she was REALLY prepared) and I just wondered if I answered them "correctly", truthfully, yes.... correctly? who the heck knows.
Laying there awake wondering how school is going to go.... do I enroll D in preschool? are the big boys going to do well and not be bullies or bullied. Sometimes being a mom just makes me need to take a deep breath. If I get the kids, D could go to preschool....if I don't should we work something out anyway? Do I just take care of him here? He has never had that socialization privalige. Grrrrrr.
I tell you what it is a good thing that I have God and my faith on my side. I don't know if I would ever sleep if I didn't. My parents were sooooo vidulant in raising us in the church. Back growing up it seemed like a pain and I just did not see it positivly most of the time. There was even a time in my early 20s that I was not active in the church. Well, thanks to a whole bunch of kids that call me mom (trust me, they say it often enough there is no question) it is up to me (and Jeremy of course who by the way has had such a faith walk this year. Being confirmed and more active than I could have ever prayed for) to bring them up in the Word and the church.
Still looking for God's direction in the whole "family planning thing" (I know I know, but it is on my mind CONSTANTLY).
To HIM be the GLORY GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE!